{"id":34155,"date":"2023-09-06T08:56:10","date_gmt":"2023-09-06T12:56:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/?p=34155"},"modified":"2023-09-06T08:56:10","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T12:56:10","slug":"becoming-the-best-u-improving-your-resiliency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/?p=34155","title":{"rendered":"Becoming The Best U: Improving your resiliency"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Nancy Plummer<\/strong>, Columnist, The Times<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"Question: I lost my job during Covid and since then I can\u2019t seem to pull myself out of my funk. Other friends of mine lost their job too, but they seem to have dealt with it just fine. Heck, one of my friends decided to start her own company after getting fired from her last job. She\u2019s loving life! What\u2019s wrong with me? What do they have that I don\u2019t?<\/p>\n

Bess \u2013 Ardmore, PA<\/p>\n

Answer: Nothing is wrong with you Bess. What you\u2019re describing is resiliency.<\/em> Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from defeat or difficult moments. In other words, people who are resilient are less likely to complain or give up, and instead adapt to a new situation and work quickly to solve the matter. Resilient people can be described as tough, adaptable, and quick to bounce back. <\/em><\/p>\n

We all want to have more resiliency. The good news is that resiliency can be taught. <\/em><\/p>\n

Resiliency is a fascinating subject, one that is being studied by psychologists near and far. The question is whether resiliency is innate or can we teach resiliency to everyone from soldiers, business people, parents, and children alike? And if so, how?<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Resiliency takes on many types: emotional, physical, social, and mental. Where one person may be mentally resilient, they may be prone to giving up quickly when faced with a physical task such as a 5K run.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yet, there\u2019s more to determining if someone is resilient, as Martin E.P. Seligman wrote in his article, \u201cBuilding Resiliency,\u201d in The Harvard Review. As Seligman found in his thirty years of research, even when there is the same type of failure, say being fired, there are very different results. <\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s the one who gets fired and blames it on himself, sinks into a deep depression, and gives up entirely. Then there\u2019s another who gets fired, then pivots quickly and focuses on getting another- perhaps better -job than the one he had. Why? Because he didn\u2019t take getting fired personally. He had the confidence to not give up. He\u2019s considered resilient. What was the difference between those that got depressed and those that didn\u2019t? Seligman, called \u201cthe father of positive psychology\u201d says it\u2019s OPTIMISM. <\/em><\/p>\n

But, interestingly, there\u2019s one more type that doesn\u2019t just show resilience; it reveals growth. These are people who experience severe trauma. They too, can suffer deep depression, anxiety, and even PTSD, but around a year later, they\u2019ve experienced post-traumatic growth. They\u2019ve worked through their failure and adapted to change their life for the better. How did they do it? To paraphrase Nietzsche, \u201c<\/em>What doesn\u2019t kill them makes them stronger\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So, here are a few tips to improving your resiliency.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Build and maintain positive relationships with friends, family, and perhaps a spiritual community.<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Get involved and help others.<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Try to maintain a daily routine. It may not be easy, but even getting to bed at a certain hour each night can help.<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. Set achievable goals that give you something to look forward to and add meaning to your life.<\/em><\/li>\n
  5. Make time to relax and unwind.<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. Practice being grateful and positive. Remember, it\u2019s a choice and words are powerful.<\/em><\/li>\n
  7. Be willing to examine your life, then adapt and develop new strategies. Writing in a daily journal may help.<\/em><\/li>\n
  8. Put your oxygen mask on first. Take good care of yourself and practice good boundaries. Don\u2019t be afraid to say no.<\/em><\/li>\n
  9. Take action! Do something to help your situation, rather than worrying about it. Remember that one pivot may make the difference!<\/em><\/li>\n
  10. Be willing to accept that change is inevitable. Nothing in nature is static.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    Please remember that life is a journey and full of failures. But, as Confucius so wisely stated, \u201c<\/em>Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Good luck Bess!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Kindly,<\/em><\/p>\n

    Nancy <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    By Nancy Plummer, Columnist, The Times Question: I lost my job during Covid and since then I can\u2019t seem to pull myself out of my funk. Other friends of mine lost their job too, but they seem to have dealt with it just fine. Heck, one of my friends decided to start her own company […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":34154,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[3912,12170,8298,12171],"class_list":["post-34155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-featured","tag-improving-your-resiliency","tag-life-skills","tag-rebounding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34155"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34156,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34155\/revisions\/34156"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/34154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}