{"id":9472,"date":"2013-12-17T16:04:46","date_gmt":"2013-12-17T21:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/?p=9472"},"modified":"2013-12-17T16:56:40","modified_gmt":"2013-12-17T21:56:40","slug":"dont-should-on-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/?p=9472","title":{"rendered":"Don’t ‘should’ on yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Making overly hard judgments about yourself isn’t productive<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

By Dr. Matthew Lapp<\/strong>, Columnist, The Times<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"CTColLogoMattLapp\"<\/a>As another year end quickly approaches, this is a great time to take a moment away from the rush of the holidays and reflect on the past year.<\/p>\n

Many of us started the year with resolutions, goals, and intentions about how 2013 would unfold.\u00a0 For some people, life may have happened exactly as expected or turned out even better; but for the majority of us, there were bumps in the road, setbacks, and assorted adversities that challenged us along the way.\u00a0 In either case, now is the time to \u201ccheck in\u201d and evaluate how our expectations and beliefs shape our reality.<\/p>\n

When we compare \u201creality,\u201d or what is true, to what our expectations were or are, it\u2019s easy to attach meaning to or make judgements about events or circumstances.\u00a0 For example, if you set a goal to exercise more, eat healthier, and take better care of your health and instead you find yourself polishing off a tub of ice cream while watching TV nightly, it could be easy to make a less than friendly judgement about yourself.\u00a0 However, doing so doesn\u2019t really help us to be better at achieving our goals in the future.\u00a0 Chances are, it just makes us feel worse in the present.<\/p>\n

Beliefs about how life \u2018\u201cshould\u201d have gone often shape our current perception of reality, as well as our behavior and the agreements we make with ourselves and others. These beliefs help create stories about our relationships with others, our careers, and ourselves.\u00a0 In addition, these beliefs can limit us and hinder our ability to connect with who we are and what is of true value in our life.<\/p>\n

Instead, by critically evaluating what is working in our lives, we allow ourselves to discover our own recipe for success. In doing so, we may be able to recreate that recipe in other areas of our lives.\u00a0 For example, thinking back on the past year, when were the times that you felt happiest, healthiest, and most vibrant?\u00a0 What circumstances did you create in your life to allow for that to occur?\u00a0 Did you take an action? Did you change your mindset? Maybe you made an agreement with yourself or someone else that you felt compelled to uphold?\u00a0 Whatever the circumstances were, if we\u2019re able to recognize those components of a successful plan of action, we can recreate and use that knowledge to influence our lives in a positive way.<\/p>\n

The key point to remember when we\u2019re evaluating our life is that it\u2019s especially important to do so without judgement of ourselves and others. We can all be guilty of comparing our lives to others\u2019 lives or to how we think life should<\/i> be. However, the truth is that it is not about what happened, it is about how we respond to what happened.\u00a0 In that respect, the power is always in our hands.<\/p>\n

As we prepare to move into another year and make plans for the future, it may be helpful to think of life in terms of areas that need to reorganize or change, rather than areas of life that are broken or need to be \u201cfixed.\u201d\u00a0 (A hint to know which areas need to change are those that bring you pain, drain your energy, or create dis-ease in your life.)\u00a0 In truth, nothing in life is ever broken per se.<\/p>\n

Instead, wherever we find ourselves is as a result of choices we made leading up to our current state.\u00a0 Therefore, we can take solace in knowing that the choices we make now and in the future can ultimately create completely different life circumstances.\u00a0 If we\u2019re able to be honest with ourselves without attaching meaning and judgement, then we\u2019ll also be able to create a clear path for success in the future.<\/p>\n

Drs. Allison and Matthew Lapp are the owners of Salus Chiropractic Studio in Thorndale. For more tips on living a health, happy life, visit them on Facebook at <\/i>https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SalusChiropracticStudio<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Making overly hard judgments about yourself isn’t productive By Dr. Matthew Lapp, Columnist, The Times As another year end quickly approaches, this is a great time to take a moment away from the rush of the holidays and reflect on the past year. Many of us started the year with resolutions, goals, and intentions about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9471,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,622],"tags":[3354,623,1128],"class_list":["post-9472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-health","tag-check-in","tag-health-2","tag-well-being"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9472"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9486,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9472\/revisions\/9486"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coatesvilletimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}